What's the best way to approach?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. The first year he showered me with sweet gifts, cards, flowers etc. I'm not a material girl at all and very selfless and while I thought those things were very thoughtful I also thought he was just showing me little ways he loved me.


A year later... The last card he has goven me was one asking for forgivness for forgetting my bday! No flowers, no sweet gifts...this year for my bday he bought me a used treadmill (that I picked out and called about because I am 7wks preg), I spent almost 400.00 dollars on him! I just left his house after staying for 5 days, washing his clothes and dishes and being so sick from pregnancy, while he goes fishing!


My point is and question is.... I need to talk to him about how I feel like I am doing and giving more. I just dont know how to bring it up without starting a fight, I dont want to seem like I am getting on his butt. Or am I being to hard on him?


What do you think?? Help please!!!

What's the best way to approach?
I think that your boyfriend is in a comfort zone right now. At first he was showering you with gifts and attention and now it seems that he feels that he does not have to do that, because he knows that he has you. Being pregnant is a wonder thing and you should feel appriciated and loved. Let him know that you miss the extra attention and that you love him, but feel that you are giving him 110% and that he is not. Let him know that you are more upset then mad and that right now you need him to show you that he adores you and will do anything for you. Let him know that you are not asking for the world and what you really want is for him to put a little more effort. I think that if you let him know that your upset and that the way he is acting is bothering you, he will understand.
Reply:This sounds like a very typical male. He was pursuing you, puttin' on the lovin', until he 'conquered' his goal. He's got you now, has even got you pregnant so now he's moved his attention onto other things in life. This isn't to say he's in the right, I'm just saying this is a typical male reaction and behaviour.


One unfortunate thing is that he hasn't made any commitment that will draw him back to his responsibility to love, honour and protect you, if you get my drift. Once a man has staked his claim in marriage, this is the standard that you can call him back to. You don't have that standard.





Yeah, you need to talk to him about this. Point out how much his displays of affections have dropped off and how that makes you feel. Stress the 'your feelings' aspect over the 'his failure' aspect. "You've done this..." statements will put him on the defensive. Start your sentences with "I feel..." Practice what you will say, even write it down to ensure you're not going to incite an argument....but it might come anyway.


Yeah, you're pregnant and a little more emotional, but all the more reason that he needs to be puttin' on the lovin' again. This is how relationships stay fresh and vital. Let that slide, and problems start.


All the best to you~~
Reply:My advise is to stop being his mother. It's your choice to wash his clothes and do his dishes while he went fishing. He's getting used to you doing it all and loves it.
Reply:Imo, I think you should make him a nice dinner one night, to ease the tension that this might bring and just let him know that you do appreciate him, but you feel a bit neglected lately. Let him know that you need him right now, and that you want to be there for him too while this pregnancy is under way. Tell him you don't feel as appreciated as you used to, and it is harder on you now than ever before because you are carrying this baby and it can be killer on your hormones. I hope this helps and congrats on the baby! I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant! =0)



White Teeth