How do I get my boyfriend to treat me better (more romantically)?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two months. In the beginning, he said that he's a big fan of romantic gestures such as flowers, etc. But I haven't seen any of it. I haven't gotten flowers, little gifts (even though I've given him little gifts), or anything like that. He's physically affectionate, but I want more. I'm not materialistic, but sometimes, flowers would be nice. I've hinted this to him with no results. I also sometimes feel like I'm paying for everything. This weekend, we went out for ice cream and he paid ($6). I paid for our movie ($12) and snacks ($12). I did this because I assumed he was going to pay for our Saturday night meal. Well, we went out to eat that night and when the bill came, he said that he had no cash, so I ended up paying for our meals ($46). So this weekend I spent $70 compared to his $6, and this isn't the first time. I live paycheck to paycheck, so spending like this isn't good. I don't want to break up with him. What should I do?

How do I get my boyfriend to treat me better (more romantically)?
Here's the real truth: if you are not seeing and experiencing the kind of treatment you want and deserve, drop him.


WHY? Because being a gentleman and a nice guy DOES NOT come NATURALLY to him. And it probably never will.


There are only 2 types of people in this world:


Givers and Takers


What are you and what is he???
Reply:Dump this Loser. He is using you. Are u having sex with him.??


Trust me, u don't want to pay for anything. I am very independent and I make damn good money. I have been paying the majority of the bills since we have been married and it is NOT fun. I think about how much money I could have if I was single.


Don't start a bad habit, honey and you will get respect. Only go out with the ones that can afford to take YOU out when asked. Send this Loser packing.
Reply:Sorry, but after 2 months, he's already kicking back. To me, this is a sure sign that the two of you aren't 1) communicating or 2) compatible.





Talk to him then decide what to do.
Reply:well, to he honest, he probably said those things in the beginning because he wanted to "woo" you. if he hasnt shown any signs of this kind of behavior and its only been 2 months, then just give up hoping things will change. becuase htey wont. you shouldnt stick yoruself in a relationshpi where you have to pay for everything, and that is clearly causing you stress. you may not want to break up with him, but you should look at the big picture and try to decide whether its worth it or not. good luck!
Reply:Well you can't have it both ways! If you want a more romantic boyfriend, then you need to find a different one. YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE!!! He is who he is and nothing you do can change it. So if you don't want to break up with him then quit bit-ching about how he treats you! You want to continue being a fool and pay for everything, it's totally up to you!
Reply:Well, it looks like you are getting to know his true character at this point. So, if you really don't want to break up with him, you're going to have to settle for a lazy, inconsiderate lump who manipulates you into paying his way.





You're probably better off breaking up with him.
Reply:honey... the guy right now is a jerk... talk to him... and if that doesn't work then you should really think if you want to be with him.if a guy is not treating you the way he is suppose to be treating you then he is not worth it.... talk and take action honey! good luck and hope this helps you !
Reply:It's tacky for him to go out to eat without any money in his pocket for at least his own meal. If he's showing you this little appreciation 2 mo into it, I think it's not likely to improve.





The thing is, if you have to solicit romance....to me it's just not romantic. I mean, anyone can fake the funk for a little bit then they fall off the wagon. You sound like a thoughtful person so you know that little gifts and nice gestures come from the heart, not because you feel obligated to do so.
Reply:Sounds like he's taking advantage of you. Stand up for yourself, he won't respect you if you don't.
Reply:is it that he is cheap or does he just not have the money at all, because it sounds like he really likes you but you should realize that money isnt everything. you guys could rent a movie and it would be cheaper or even order a pizza and save money, that would probably help you both fall in love faster.
Reply:Replace Boyfriend





(he is using you as a cheap lay, you pay for his services)





Whats wrong with you
Reply:tell one of his friends. It's hard for you to smack him around for something like this because it's and unwritten rule (edicut), but if he has a reasonable friend, the friend can.
Reply:A bit of a cliche but - talk to him. Unless he's a mind reader he won't know how you feel. Otherwise you can just stop paying for things and stop being his skivvy.
Reply:Stop doing what you are doing and confront him about it. I have been in your shoes and if I knew then what I know now I would be a millioniare. The man is supposed to wine and dine you. It is okay on occasion to spend your money on dates but the majority is on the MAN! He is a boy trying to live out a man's life. You deserve better than him. If things dont change, I would wait on someone better.
Reply:Don't pay for anything, tell him you don't want to pay everytime, all the time. Keep your options open, like for another guy.
Reply:hmm sounds like yall should have a few dates at each others house, like watch a movie, and the flowers thing i have no idea cause im a guy and ive bought flowers for girls 3 times and its always on the 2nd date
Reply:Maybe I'm old school, but he sounds like a problem. I would be embarrassed if my girl had to continually pay my way without an explanation. Granted, a relationship shouldn't be only about gifts, or what you hope to gain materially from the other, but if it's that intangible "I'm wondering if he's really committed to me" feeling, don't ignore it.


You have 2 issues:


1. What he's not paying for that could show his true value of your relationship.


2. The romantic things that he could do that would cost little or no money that he doesn't think of.





No one person can carry a romance, it takes two! What would he be like after you're married? He certainly doesn't sound like he's head-over-heels to me. As far as physical affection, most guys can drum that up consistently without necessarily being in love with you.
Reply:what a looser. he used those romantic lines to get with you. now that relationship is in full swing you can see who he really is. i say you move on. actions are louder than words, and he clearly is not a believer in romantic gestures. he seems to be more of a leech than anything. you need to think about whether you want to support his mooching habits, or move on while you still have hope.. and money. good luck
Reply:In all honesty you need to talk to him openly and honestly, especially about the finances!





As far as romantic gestures go, it is never satisfying to ask for those thing because you'll never know why he did them, "was it because you asked or hinted or because he really wanted to?" You need to ask yourself if you can like him, love him or be with him if he doesn't so those things like flowers and candy. If you can't then cut him loose now! Before you get anymore emotionally involved, if you can like, love %26amp; be with him without all the romantic stuff then do so and don't make him feel bad about it and let it go.





Most men aren't great at change. So you have to decide what you want %26amp; don't want...That is what dating is a process of elimination. If you decide you can't be with him as he is now, either he will change or you will find someone else you are more content with!
Reply:Taqlk to him. That's all. Talk to him. I talked to mine. AND I didn't give him any. I told him we are back at square one where he had to work for the P***Y lol.
Reply:you find another boyfriend
Reply:Well first of all - let's seperate the flowers/little gifts issue and the paying for everything issue.





1. Paying for everything issue.





He's a scrub, darling. Don't hint. Don't infer. Don't beat around the bush. You need to tell him that you're always paying for everything and you're sick and tired of it. You might also mention that you don't want to be in a relationship where you're always paying for everything.





It sounds like you're a reasonable gal and would be happy if he would just meet you halfway in expense sharing. Tell him this. Also tell him if he needs a woman to pay for his half of stuff, he might want to date his Mom.





2. Flowers and Little Gifts





This is even tricker because he's not trying to be intentionally stupid - he is just clueless and judging by some of the things you've said - probably cheap.





If your boyfriends defense, LOTS of guys don't see the point behind buying a girl flowers. They just die anyway, right? However, if your boyfriend was presenting himself one-way (as a romantic paramour who loves grand romantic gestures) and has now ended up another way (the always broke boyfriend who don't buy you flower and can't pay for dinner) then you might want to re-evaluate the entire reason you started dating him in the first place.





He kind of has to figure out the gift giving part himself but you should certainly draw a line in the sand on the money issue.
Reply:If you don't want to break up with him, then you've got no choice but to tell him straight off that you can't afford to pay for your dates, and suggest going out on cheaper dates... maybe you can start cooking for him.





But personally, that whole girl-paying-for-the-meal thing is a total turn off for me, so unless he's got a really good excuse for treating you this way, I'd say break up with him. And do it soon, before he robs you of more than just money.



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