What should I do in this situation?

After 38 yrs I met 34 yr old lady who is my ideal woman. She is similar to me and a very approachable person, she is genuine and I know she is on the same wavelength as me.





We are comfortable in each others presence and when I'm near her I really notice the comfortableness. I have never met anyone that appears to be into the same things as me and share the same personality traits.





Anyway she showed an interest so I asked her out and she said yes and then changed it to no. Months later it appearred it was still on her mind but she has pushed me away. I know we would get on well but yesterday I found out it was her work xmas party.





She was there with another staff member and kep putting her arms round the guy. I dont know if she likes him or he is just very good friends with her. There is some affinity between them.





What should I do? Walkaway or try and win her over? I don't want to buy her with flowers or gifts etc and I think it has to come from her.

What should I do in this situation?
You need to take a reality check. Have a look at yourself and see if you are the kind of person she wants in her life. Most people are attracted to the same things - Confident without being too cocky, being fun and not dragging those around you down, being able to have a balaned, normal conversation without trying to score points, being comfortable in the middle of a crowd but not needing the spotlight on you.





If you really like this girl then you might be better off making an off-the-cuff remark about something you know she feels secure with. For example, if she's quite fashion-savvy, a short cheeky passing comment about how her shoes don't quite go with her handbag (with a cheeky smile and smooth exit) might be a quick way of getting her attention. Above all, don't act like you 'need' her - thats the biggest turn-off going.





And you're right about the flowers and stuff - this is great if you're in a relationship but total disaster if you're trying to get one going. If she has half a brain, she'll be attracted to the guy, not the gifts.





Best of luck.
Reply:keep your cool, act like you are not interested and she will come crawling!
Reply:Yea, just sit back, what will be will be.
Reply:I would lean toward this: people do not change but very little as time goes by. By the time that people are approaching their forties and are pretty much settled in their ways.





So, the easy thing to do would be to walk away.





However, as I understand it, getting together at a later point in life than the usual twenties thing can be more difficult. I also put a good deal of faith in quiet moments together. You said that you were comfortable together and this was likely communicated in silence; this is probably a good indicator that you are on the right track.





All that you should do is what comes naturally to you considering what the desire of your heart is; and that is to experience again and for the long term the togetherness that you had before. You just need to be sincere and open whenever she is around; to be so is a certain feeling - trust, I would say.





I think that if she senses that you are willing to be open to her and that you do not fear closeness (figuratively), she is likely to reciprocate.





I wish you well in your efforts.
Reply:Okay, you did SOMETHING between the point you met her, and the point she was pushing you away to come across as a "needy guy"... Were you like calling to confirm your date, or expressing "over interest DIRECTLY to her" before you got together (judging from what I'm reading, you probably did)?





If she is locked into the guy, then walk away.. If you keep "Leaning on her ethericlly", you are going to lose ALL your social value, and be worse than you are now...





Be aloof, and just go onto the next thing...





HOWEVER, if you do bump into her, start "teasing her (playfully)", and DONT LEAN!!!!.... Thats the BEST you can do at this point
Reply:So you were meant to go out but she pulled out, why ??? you don't say later shes out at a works do arms around some guy


, come on man wake up!!! forget flowers and chocolates noww, if she wanted you you would not be writing in here, plz save yourself from being trampled on , move on m8 cos she has already, find a lady whos worthy of you cos she ain't no wayyyyy.



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