Question?..10 pts. to best answer!?

Friend question?..Is this alright to do?..?


* A friend of mine, who I haven't spoken to in almost a year sent me a gift through the internet. A flower gift, just a picture of a flower, that anyone can send to anyone, if they want to as a gesture of appreciation, fun, care etc. I was shocked when she did this, I never thought she would do that, as I felt I was for the most doing the friend work We've known each other for 3 years now, %26amp;live in different states. We're both in college %26amp; she is about to graduate. I feel she got the hint that I was mad at her because I ignored her on aim, as she was always the first I chatted with. I feel she sent me the card to try %26amp; apologize subtly. I will resend her the gift, because it's a nice gesture %26amp; would hope from there she actually initiates the conversation, if she cares. *But I still refuse to talk to her when I'm on aim, I can't bring my self to pretend nothing happened,because something did. Is that fine?..I just can't out of the blues tell her what she did.

Question?..10 pts. to best answer!?
This is a tough question to answer without all the details. If she is really a friend of yours, and you really and truly want the friendship to continue, I suggest you get that pride chip off your shoulder and send her a greeting and then talk to her on AIM and explain that you have something you need to talk to her about privately and ask that she contact you via the phone at a convenient time for both of you if she wants to resolve the situation and continue with the friendship and make it grow.





But you need to be able to discuss issues with friends....or they aren't friends. Letting this go a year is too long. Grow up......make the first effort and see hwat happens and then decide. Good luck.





Remember, true friends are hard to come by and rare, we are firtunate of we have 3 in our entire life. The other "friends" are just people we associate with. Learning to decipher the difference is the key to growing as a person and obtaining true friends. Sometimes it takes a lot of personal soul searching.
Reply:What did you guys fight about?


*yawn..*
Reply:You haven't spoken to her for over a year and your still gonna hold a grudge. What did she do that was that bad? Is it still worth holding a grudge, and ending a friendship over. Think about it.
Reply:WOW!
Reply:Honestly girl I do think you are letting your pride get in the way. If this is a relationship you care about, the best thing to do is to communicate with your friend and let her know that she has harmed you in some way. Otherwise you are the only one harboring a resentment, and she probably doesn't even know anything is wrong. It is kind of silly to sit here upset but not willing to do anything about it. Tell her how you feel and let her know your feelings are hurt, so that she can even acknowledge she had done something wrong. Ohterwise, your resentment towards her will continue to get bigger and bigger and you will get madder and madder waiting for her to apologize for something she doesn't even know she has done. Good luck to you and your friend. I am sure it will all work out if you can be the bigger person and let her know what is bothering you.
Reply:I think that life is very short and you only live once. I feel you should either not send her the flower back and trash the friendship completley. Or, send her an email thanking her for the flower and explain to her your issues. Pride is the number one cause of broken friendships I believe. Don't let your pride get in the way. I understand if you don't want to forgive her but it sounds like you do want a friend you just need a better apologize on her side. Just talk to her.
Reply:I'm kind of confused. Has it been a year since you talked to her and this incident happened? Or, it happened a year ago, you have been friends and all of a sudden you're fired up about it?


If it's the first, then forget her. She needs to do more than send a crappy pic.


If it's the second, then maybe you should talk to her about it. How is she gonna know how you feel if you want to remain friends. You can't be so hot and cold.


But, if you don't want to be really good friends and more like aquaintances, then why do you care so much?
Reply:that`s ridiculous! how`s she going to know what pissed you off, if you don`t tell her? You have`nt spoken in over a year anyway, so it`s no sweat off your a.ss if you do tell her. Send her a picture of a flower %26amp; say, I`m sorry I haven`t spoken with you, you did this, or said this, or didn`t do something that upset me, I would still like to be friends, if you would like to talk about it, call me. If she doesn`t, good riddance.
Reply:Try to lose the drama. Get over it. You are an adult now, so act like one. In high school, a friend of mine did something very bad, and I stopped talking to her. I can't stand drama in my life, I won't put up with it. We found each other recently on myspace, and she sent me a message - after 7 or 8 years of not talking! She just wanted to know what was going on in my life. So I sent her one back. Why not? We don't talk every day, just occasionally. I'm over what she did, not saying I'll be her best buddy again! lol But I don't mind messages here and there, I'm grown-up now.





If you want, send her one back. Maybe she needed to grow up a little, and thought you were a special person, so she sent it to you. I wouldn't start any drama though- it's a waste of time.
Reply:Is it wrong of you to feel the way you feel? No. Do i think you are letting your pride get in the way? No. It's a test of friendship, through these trials of friendship we find out who our friends truly are. If you have been initiating all the contact, then obviously she knows you care and you are willing to be her friend even though you guys are far apart. But if she doesn't return the gesture, then it's perfectly natural for you to feel the way you do.





Some people are just more selfish than others. It might not mean that she doesn't want to be your friend, she may simply just not know that she was blowing you off because she got caught up and busy with her new friends, her schoolwork and such. It's hard to keep in touch with friends that are long distance, but true friends will make the effort.





If you want to ride it out and not initiate conversations with her until she does so first, then fine, it's how you deal with it, i'ts how you see if she cares, then go for it. Just remember, don't be disappointed if she doesn't initiate conversations with you, at that point, you will just have to accept that she's not that great of a friend to begin with and move on and find someone who is a good friend =)





Anyways, good luck!
Reply:Ok well your explanatoin was somewhat confusing... but maybe you should try and talk to her because it sounds like she wants to talk to you but she isn't sure what to do...
Reply:Sounds like your pride, especially since you didn't say what she did to upset you in the first place. At least she made a gesture towards contacting you. You wouldn't have posted this question if you didn't want to give her a chance again as your friend.





Swallow your pride!
Reply:If you want to have contact with her, then send her the gift of the flower. If you don't want to get with her again, then ignore the gift and write her off.





Don't let silly pride get in the way of a friendship. We all make mistakes, haven't you?





You be the judge, if you want to talk to her then do it, and let the past go. We are getting into the holiday season soon, there will be Cristmas break, and that may give you two a little time to patch up old wounds.





It sounds like she misses you and wants to have contact again.





good luck.
Reply:I would just return the gesture and then see where it goes...if she brings it up discuss it
Reply:u r totally wrong. this is ur ego. u should talk to her and tell her how u really felt.





if sheb wants to be freinz wid u and has apologized u should forgive and forget.





good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:what did she do that was so bad
Reply:When GOD can forgive us, why can't we forgive each other???Maybe you might never forget what she did to you, but at least try to forgive, everyone does mistakes.She accepted her fault by sending you the gift, so try to talk to her.Give her a second chance.
Reply:Unless she killed a member of your family not only r u letting the past get in the way but you may be preventing future happeness, you've know her for 3 years


and now she's trying to make ammends


and i could be wrong but you sound and act


like a Atype personality which means yes,


your letting your pride get in the way, so


if you blow it maybey you could send your self a nice card, for being the king of


grandious, you might find them under the


NARSICISTIC catagory . . .
Reply:No, don't be stupid. You can't expect her to read your mind. Let her know you're upset, and if you have to, just say it out of the blue! Be polite though because maybe she really has some good reasons for behaving the way she did. She obviously cares if she was trying to talk to you on AIM, and sent you the little flower. It won't be fixed if you keep quiet! Would you honestly tell her what was wrong even if she asked? When I'm feeling stubborn, I know I want someone to ask what's wrong, but when they ask, I just say "nothing!" so the issue still doesn't get resolved! You need to bridge the gap.
Reply:It is "Much ado about nothing" .
Reply:Soooo... What happened?
Reply:Instead of refusing to talk to her why don't you just tell her how you feel? I would hate being the only one initiating the conversation or the relationship and would get really sick of it after awhile. Why don't you just tell her and see what she says. Maybe she is used to people always initiating everything with her in a relationship...depending on how she responds you can determine whether it is worth your time and effort to continue a friendship with her. GOOD LUCK.
Reply:if she was your friend, you'd say something to her. be upfront and truthful with her. Stop acting like a child. Obviously she is trying to apologize. why not be a gentlemen and accept the apology by initializing the conversation. Maybe this is hard for her too.
Reply:stop with the drama and tel her that she made you mad and what she did chances are she doesnt even know what she did, so tell her and thank her for the card. Good Luck
Reply:talk to her... a friend is still way better than chocolates
Reply:Sometimes waiting for someone to admit their faults is hard because you will be waiting a long time. Sorry and being apologetic is one of the most difficult things to do because you have to say the "I was wrong". No one likes being wrong. If friendship meant something to you whats wrong with trying to restore it. Some people say that somethings you just can't fix, but how will you know if you don't try. Maybe this is a way for her to open the door to talk about it. So let her take some time to get it out. One things that hinders us from growth is unforgiveness. So learn to forgive and you will learn to live. Respond back to her because you want to not because its the right thing to do.
Reply:no she is just sorry
Reply:I remember a similar situation which resulted in a lost friendship. For me this was a big mistake.


As I go through life I realise how important friends are. Good friends are hard to come by and anyone of us can make enemies easily. My motto is to never break a friendship and if there is a danger of loses a friend fight to keep them. It is only pride that prevents us and remember pride often comes before a fall.
Reply:Resend the card, and be done.
Reply:I think you have already made up your mind, but if that is how you feel then you arent letting anything get in the way. You need to do what is right for you. If you want her in your life right now then you can try to make an effort, or you could just come right out and tell her what is going on? Im sure that might help.
Reply:Send her an email back stating you received the "gift" and you appreciate it. Also tell her that she means a lot to you (or whatever, but be nice) then tell her that you both have some unresolved issues and you'd like to talk to her about it.


Keep in mind that this was probably her "apology" and she is vulnerable right now, so don't take advantage of that. Be sincere and try to regain your friendship if she means enough to you.





I wouldn't send her the same "gift" back..that would seem insincere.



performing arts