How/why does someone act madly in love but continue to cheat behind that persons back?

My 30 yr old bro "Jo" has been dating his old high school gf for over 6 mons. He braggs consently about how wonderful "Peg" is to anyone who will listen. He spends all his free time with her and showers her with gifts,cards,flowers. Brings her to all the family functions and spends the whole time dotting on her. Well I just found out Jo has been cheating on Peg with someone at work(long story but know its true) and not just once but for over 4 mons! Jo told this girl all about Peg and that he has no plans on leaving Peg for her BUT Peg does not have a clue about this other ckick!If Peg ever found out she would be heartbroken and Jo knows this. So my questions are 1. If someone is "madly" in love why would they want to cheat(numerous) times on someone they charish and risk getting cought and hurting the other person. 2. I love my bf and don't even have a desire to cheat with anyone else even if i could get away with it so why would my bro?

How/why does someone act madly in love but continue to cheat behind that persons back?
That is not true love. When you love someone you should not even think about sleeping with other people. The fact that he told this chick he has a girl and she is cool with it is pretty messed up too. Maybe he likes the excitement of sneaking around and doing something he shouldn't. it will comeout sooner or later i just hope he is prepared for what may happen. No offence but is "peg" finds out I hope she never talks to him again.
Reply:Everyone has a different definition of 'madly in love'





Sounds like you two are reading from a different dictionary (by the way I'm on the same page as you).





Someone who is 'madly in love' by my definition would not cheat.
Reply:because he likes what he has with her....he doesnt want to lose that so he does all this stuff to treat her well and keep her happy as a way to make up for what hes doing (even though she doesnt know about it) he just cant commit to one person in the bedroom so he takes that elsewhere.
Reply:Maybe it is time for Peg to ask what it is she is NOT giving Jo that the other woman IS? All the blame always automatically goes onto the man, but there are always two sides to every story.
Reply:If he loved her, he would not do something that would break her heart. Cheating on her would defintiely do that.





Sounds like he wants the best of both words--to have a girlfriend who loves him, and a playmate to make him feel single.
Reply:Any of the following things could be going on with your brother:


* He wants to keep Peg around even though he's cheating, so dotes on her with gifts, cards, flowers, etc. (And perhaps he's buying two of everything and doting on the other woman).


* He's feels guilty at some level, so indulges Peg.


* In his mind, his relationship with Peg is not exclusive.


* In his mind, the relationship with the other woman might be strictly sexual.
Reply:It sounds like jo is using peg as a trophy. He is in love with the idea of being in love with her and that she is good for his image.





If he was in love with her even a little then he WOULD NEVER EVER, EVER cheat on her. (sorry i lose my temper sometimes when i here about this.





I am thinking that his "relationship" with his co-worker is to subside his physical needs.





Over all it sounds as if your brother is selfish and is only looking out for him and his wants not the wants of another. Hence is loves no one but #1



c++