hi
i have a problem here
i am planning to give a gift for my girlfriend but i don't have money i'm not that rich to buy expensive gifts like flowers chocolates or stuff toys. We've been already 3 years now.
is it ok to give her a love letter?
Valentines Gift?
girls dont need something rich or poor just something to show you care this is sappy and probably a movie cliche but go pick flowers from somewhere it gonna be hard since it winter but try it wrap them in a napkin or hanker chief even paper it will show she very speacial cause you didnt by commercial roses like guys gve girls and also you found something hard in the winter to get and it wil show she is very speacial
Reply:DUDE
That sounds like a cool idea.
I've been looking for something different i could do.
I will more than likely use the idea myself.
I say go for it.
Reply:Make her a card! Or what i've done for my boyfriend is i've made him a coupon book. Filled with all kinds of coupons that he can "cash in" like a free car wash, or get out of dishes card, or an i cook dinner card. Think of ideas that she'd enjoy like you'll go with her to the mall or you'll cook her dinner or something. The options are endless!
Reply:All my life
My love’s been waiting for you
All my lifeMy heart’s been waiting too
Don’t you know I need you
And adore you
All my life I’ll give to only you
http://www.xmasquote.com
http://myvalentinequotations.blogspot.co...
Reply:How about a book of 'coupons'?
"Good for one free massage."
"I owe you a home cooked dinner"
"Good for a trip to the movies...your choice"
She can rip them out and use them whenever.
Shoes
Friday, November 6, 2009
I am interested in opening a flower and gift shop...what do I need to know about starting my own business?
Also, do I need any special training in flower arranging? or certifications?
I am interested in opening a flower and gift shop...what do I need to know about starting my own business?
Go to http://www.score.org/ to find the nearest SCORE chapter. In the upper left hand corner is a box to enter your zip code. Your nearest SCORE chapter will be on the next screen. Contact them to arrange for a free one on one meeting with a SCORE counselor about starting your flower and gift shop.
SCORE is a nonprofit organization. They provide a public service by offering small business advice and training.
SCORE's 10,500 volunteers have more than 600 business skills. Volunteers share their wisdom and lessons learned in business. The volunteers are working/retired business owners, executives and corporate leaders.
Reply:financing
Reply:In response to your questions...
While your are researching, you should also consider advertising over the Internet. You would a pre-designed, automated, income-generating website. Not just any type of website. There only one that stands above the rest. It help you make extra income from other sources related to your store.
Also, you will need to learn Internet marketing to become successful over the Internet.
Get all the info here...
Learn all about auctions/Also check out "Build A Niche Store"
http://ebay-web-site-to-buy.blogspot.com...
Create any website you want but only one tops them all
http://create-own-web-site.blogspot.com/
Learn all how to sell... learn internet marketing... affiliate marketing... niche marketing, etc.
http://learn-affiliate-marketing-program...
In response to your question...
Reply:yes you do need to know a lot about it like who you're going to purchase your gifts from and how much you're going to add to the price that you paid for said gifts, and how you are going to get the money to by the supples for the flowers, and how you're going to let people know about your bussiness. there are many things you need to do but if you pull through alive you should have fun the rest of the way
Reply:I would find a lawyer and or accountant to talk to about what it takes to own/operate a business.
Reply:You should take some classes in flower arranging.
Reply:check the walls of a flouriest and see business license and taxes food and drug because it is a plant-place to get flowers on call coolness-many things in this area.
Reply:The 1st thing and maybe most important thing you need to know is that over 90% of new small businesses fail in the first year.
2nd, look around town. Are there any flower shops that have been open for more than 5 years?
Reply:I would contact your local SBA. As far as certifications I would have one or employ somebody with one. Remember you as a business owner will be extremly busy.
Reply:First, always know that it will cost more than you ever anticipate for daily expenses.
Second, if you have a natural talent, you don't have to get special training but you may wish to read/study alot to improve your natural abilities and expand your ideas.
Third, talk to someone professionally that is in a stable business so you can learn about aspects of running a business that you may not have considered.
And last, get a reliable accountant to advise you.
loan
I am interested in opening a flower and gift shop...what do I need to know about starting my own business?
Go to http://www.score.org/ to find the nearest SCORE chapter. In the upper left hand corner is a box to enter your zip code. Your nearest SCORE chapter will be on the next screen. Contact them to arrange for a free one on one meeting with a SCORE counselor about starting your flower and gift shop.
SCORE is a nonprofit organization. They provide a public service by offering small business advice and training.
SCORE's 10,500 volunteers have more than 600 business skills. Volunteers share their wisdom and lessons learned in business. The volunteers are working/retired business owners, executives and corporate leaders.
Reply:financing
Reply:In response to your questions...
While your are researching, you should also consider advertising over the Internet. You would a pre-designed, automated, income-generating website. Not just any type of website. There only one that stands above the rest. It help you make extra income from other sources related to your store.
Also, you will need to learn Internet marketing to become successful over the Internet.
Get all the info here...
Learn all about auctions/Also check out "Build A Niche Store"
http://ebay-web-site-to-buy.blogspot.com...
Create any website you want but only one tops them all
http://create-own-web-site.blogspot.com/
Learn all how to sell... learn internet marketing... affiliate marketing... niche marketing, etc.
http://learn-affiliate-marketing-program...
In response to your question...
Reply:yes you do need to know a lot about it like who you're going to purchase your gifts from and how much you're going to add to the price that you paid for said gifts, and how you are going to get the money to by the supples for the flowers, and how you're going to let people know about your bussiness. there are many things you need to do but if you pull through alive you should have fun the rest of the way
Reply:I would find a lawyer and or accountant to talk to about what it takes to own/operate a business.
Reply:You should take some classes in flower arranging.
Reply:check the walls of a flouriest and see business license and taxes food and drug because it is a plant-place to get flowers on call coolness-many things in this area.
Reply:The 1st thing and maybe most important thing you need to know is that over 90% of new small businesses fail in the first year.
2nd, look around town. Are there any flower shops that have been open for more than 5 years?
Reply:I would contact your local SBA. As far as certifications I would have one or employ somebody with one. Remember you as a business owner will be extremly busy.
Reply:First, always know that it will cost more than you ever anticipate for daily expenses.
Second, if you have a natural talent, you don't have to get special training but you may wish to read/study alot to improve your natural abilities and expand your ideas.
Third, talk to someone professionally that is in a stable business so you can learn about aspects of running a business that you may not have considered.
And last, get a reliable accountant to advise you.
loan
On my hubby's b'day?????????
HI FRNDS,
I'M GOING TO SEND A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO MY HUBBY'S OFFICE ON HIS B'DAY. BUT MY FRNDS HERE SAY THAT ITS NOT SUITABLE FOR A WIFE TO GIFT FLOWERS TO HER HUBBY....... MAYBE HE WON'T LIKE IT... THEY SAY THAT FLOWERS ARE ALWAYS GIFTED BY HUBBY TO WIFE....... DO U THINK THIS IS RIGHT.............. PLS ANSWER
On my hubby's b'day?????????
You are the one that knows him! If you want to send him flowers then do it. If if back fires on you then play it off as a corny joke! It would be quite funny and cute! do it
Reply:My husband would not appreciate flowers at work~ if your husband is the type that would like it then by all means go for it!
Reply:Do not send flowers to a man at work..Trust me it will not be a good thing ..Instead send him a very privet and very erotic text or email telling him what your going to do to him when he gets home..
Reply:Do it, he will love and adore you for it!!!
Reply:Don't listen to your friends. They're probably jealous because they never thought to do something like this.
Reply:You should know better about your hubby's preferences.
Reply:Do not , I repeat, DO NOT send a man flowers at work.
The others guys will never let him live it down.
Please do not suppose that because it would be great for you that it will work on him.
Julie B is on the right track. Do not send a feminine bouquet.
Oh, thats right, ALL flowers are feminine.
No matter what he may say, if you do this, he will come to reget it.
Listen to your friends, they seem very wise on this.
Reply:I think it is sweet and where in the rule book of marriage does it say only the husband can send flowers?Oh it doesn't.So send him the prettiest flowers you can find and a big balloon that saysI Love You and Happy Birthday.You should take him his lunch at work or have his favorite meal made for his dinner and you dress really sexy for when he comes home.So what if you do have kids.You can still dress hot for the man.Good luck.
Reply:Don't bother about other's just do what ur heart says.............................
k all the best
Reply:I am not a fan of receiving dead flowers myself, they seem such a temporary thing too, unlike your love for him I hope.
I would recommend one of those edible fruit bouquets, or a basket of something sweet to eat he can share with visitors %26amp; co-workers.
But, you could always send the flowers with a secret admirer b'day wish card attached; then wait to see if he tells you about it.....
I'd personally prefer a pretty rose bush to a dozen long stem cut; %26amp; to me it is another way of truly "going green."
Reply:SIMPLE.
If he has a high post in his office then ma frnd plz dont do it.It crates an impression on his reputation . Well After all he is u r hubby and surprises cud also b given at home U know wat I MEAN.After all it his one of his happy days which comes once in every 365 days
Reply:I think Perfume with Handkerchief set%26amp; a smile %26amp;....... will be enough.
Reply:I think it's great. Just don't make it a really feminine bouquet.
Reply:Its very formal!However it's a surprise!However a more intense gift at night is the best !
Reply:I have always given or sent flowers to the men I love. It makes them feel loved and special. It is always right to show the person you love that you love them often, LOUD, and yes even by sending flowers to work. Also it lets those little Chickie-poos at work know that he is well loved at home. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
Reply:heyy its urs hubby or urs frnds hubby
urs na ur sure na
thn who the heal they are to criticised about urs gift
puppy teeth
I'M GOING TO SEND A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO MY HUBBY'S OFFICE ON HIS B'DAY. BUT MY FRNDS HERE SAY THAT ITS NOT SUITABLE FOR A WIFE TO GIFT FLOWERS TO HER HUBBY....... MAYBE HE WON'T LIKE IT... THEY SAY THAT FLOWERS ARE ALWAYS GIFTED BY HUBBY TO WIFE....... DO U THINK THIS IS RIGHT.............. PLS ANSWER
On my hubby's b'day?????????
You are the one that knows him! If you want to send him flowers then do it. If if back fires on you then play it off as a corny joke! It would be quite funny and cute! do it
Reply:My husband would not appreciate flowers at work~ if your husband is the type that would like it then by all means go for it!
Reply:Do not send flowers to a man at work..Trust me it will not be a good thing ..Instead send him a very privet and very erotic text or email telling him what your going to do to him when he gets home..
Reply:Do it, he will love and adore you for it!!!
Reply:Don't listen to your friends. They're probably jealous because they never thought to do something like this.
Reply:You should know better about your hubby's preferences.
Reply:Do not , I repeat, DO NOT send a man flowers at work.
The others guys will never let him live it down.
Please do not suppose that because it would be great for you that it will work on him.
Julie B is on the right track. Do not send a feminine bouquet.
Oh, thats right, ALL flowers are feminine.
No matter what he may say, if you do this, he will come to reget it.
Listen to your friends, they seem very wise on this.
Reply:I think it is sweet and where in the rule book of marriage does it say only the husband can send flowers?Oh it doesn't.So send him the prettiest flowers you can find and a big balloon that saysI Love You and Happy Birthday.You should take him his lunch at work or have his favorite meal made for his dinner and you dress really sexy for when he comes home.So what if you do have kids.You can still dress hot for the man.Good luck.
Reply:Don't bother about other's just do what ur heart says.............................
k all the best
Reply:I am not a fan of receiving dead flowers myself, they seem such a temporary thing too, unlike your love for him I hope.
I would recommend one of those edible fruit bouquets, or a basket of something sweet to eat he can share with visitors %26amp; co-workers.
But, you could always send the flowers with a secret admirer b'day wish card attached; then wait to see if he tells you about it.....
I'd personally prefer a pretty rose bush to a dozen long stem cut; %26amp; to me it is another way of truly "going green."
Reply:SIMPLE.
If he has a high post in his office then ma frnd plz dont do it.It crates an impression on his reputation . Well After all he is u r hubby and surprises cud also b given at home U know wat I MEAN.After all it his one of his happy days which comes once in every 365 days
Reply:I think Perfume with Handkerchief set%26amp; a smile %26amp;....... will be enough.
Reply:I think it's great. Just don't make it a really feminine bouquet.
Reply:Its very formal!However it's a surprise!However a more intense gift at night is the best !
Reply:I have always given or sent flowers to the men I love. It makes them feel loved and special. It is always right to show the person you love that you love them often, LOUD, and yes even by sending flowers to work. Also it lets those little Chickie-poos at work know that he is well loved at home. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
Reply:heyy its urs hubby or urs frnds hubby
urs na ur sure na
thn who the heal they are to criticised about urs gift
puppy teeth
What would be a good flower girl gift.?
She will be 18 months, and i have already gotten her a flower girl bear. I want to getting something else, but inexpensive.
What would be a good flower girl gift.?
I went to Hobby Lobby and bought piggy banks that were white and painted them the colors of the wedding and put the kids name on them, their jobs and the date we got married. It takes about a day to finish it all. I bought a paint pen to write the info on. I spent like ten bucks for all of the kids, on those.
Reply:Bummer - When I was a flower girl at 6, I got a little heart shaped jewelery box with an inscription saying something like...
To Shannon
Our Flower Girl
September 9,1999
I really like it and use it for important jewelery still.
If you want inexpensive though, I don't have a clue.
Reply:You can get a bride and groom Barbie and a wedding day coloring book. You could also do a little purse and a fake necklace. Good luck!
Reply:okay, well if its near christmas, id go for a tree ornament that has her name, flower girl, and wedding date inscripted on it (thats what i got when i was a flower girl and i loved it! , well i couldnt really care when i was that young but in the future its a great item you use every year)
Reply:I like the piggy bank idea, or some other keepsake item that she can love when she grows up too.
Reply:A pony
Reebok
What would be a good flower girl gift.?
I went to Hobby Lobby and bought piggy banks that were white and painted them the colors of the wedding and put the kids name on them, their jobs and the date we got married. It takes about a day to finish it all. I bought a paint pen to write the info on. I spent like ten bucks for all of the kids, on those.
Reply:Bummer - When I was a flower girl at 6, I got a little heart shaped jewelery box with an inscription saying something like...
To Shannon
Our Flower Girl
September 9,1999
I really like it and use it for important jewelery still.
If you want inexpensive though, I don't have a clue.
Reply:You can get a bride and groom Barbie and a wedding day coloring book. You could also do a little purse and a fake necklace. Good luck!
Reply:okay, well if its near christmas, id go for a tree ornament that has her name, flower girl, and wedding date inscripted on it (thats what i got when i was a flower girl and i loved it! , well i couldnt really care when i was that young but in the future its a great item you use every year)
Reply:I like the piggy bank idea, or some other keepsake item that she can love when she grows up too.
Reply:A pony
Reebok
Gift for woman turning 40. She's a teacher, Mom and Church Youth Coordinator?
We are going to a surprise party for our Church Youth Coordinator. She's turning 40. She's a divorced Mom of two twin boys (6 years old), and she's a 4th grade school teacher.
We'd like to spend about $25.00 - $30.00 max. DON'T WANT TO GIVE A GIFT CARD! Any idea about a nice gift we could get her? She's pretty stylish and hip. Would rather not go the route of "safe" gifts like flowers and such.
Gift for woman turning 40. She's a teacher, Mom and Church Youth Coordinator?
Check out http://www.uncommongoods.com -- they have some pretty unique gifts. I've bought from there before, and it's a nice site.
Reply:you can make a gift out of your own hands.it will show her how thoughtful you guys are to her!
or
you can give her some small jewllery set..macy's has great stuff
or
you can go to the personalized gift shop and get her something
or
you can get her a BLIND DATE.
iam serious. what if she really loved the guy...
love is the most beautiful gift..think!
Reply:You could get her a pretty gift basket of soaps and shower gels. Or you could offer her a night of babysitting so she can go pamper herself.
Reply:Take her to a night club or resturant or cafe or cinema or Mc donalds or Woolworths!!!!!!!!!
Reply:A mom's day out MASSAGE! Or a mani pedi...make it a relaxing day!
Reply:give her a BOOK to remember you always while reading it..
Reply:that idea of a massage is good, or even if you have a group of friends working on a gift for her, you could make up some "home-made" coupons, and maybe have them be like you and your friends will take turns baby-sitting her kids so she can have a night out with the girls.
If there are say six of you, one can stay home with her kids and the others can treat this busy mom who may need a night out, rotate until your group has all gotten time to spend with your friend.
It sounds like she is busy with the teaching and mom and w/ her church, how about paying a maid/cleaning service to helpe her out at her house a couple times a month, tha way she can not have to worry about everything if she is raising these boys on her own.
Sounds like she needs a Day Planner to organize all her activities ! If you go to the craft store and get some pretty colored paper and print them up, you can get these little "home-made" coupons laminated and put them in even one of those 4x6 small photo albums you can get at the dollar store.
How about a nice photo album with pictures of everyone, you, her, your friends, future and past pics', pics of her kids when they were younger and now, moms love pictures of their kids, and if you can get one together with her kids and your kids altogether it will be more of a personal gift than those "safe" gifts you were talking about.
Reply:Someone beat me to the best answer! Definitely some way she can 'spoil' herself and be stylish and hip at the same time - like a makeover or massage, manicure and pedicure (if your budget covers it).
If she's the divorced mother of two, then add something else to the gift: a few of you can take her kids to the park while she's out having her special time pampering herself. She probably would cherish a day out knowing her kids are well cared for by some of her 'other kids' (youth group).
If you find that your budget isn't enough for a 'pamper yourself' afternoon, you could see if some of the parents of the youth group kids will match your donations. I mean if each kid is kicking in a dollar, will their parents also give a dollar? Or if there are 20 kids in the group, and the gift is coming out of your entertainment fund for the group (the group kitty), you could still ask your parents to kick in a buck each to get her some quality time in a really nice place.
If she could get hair and nails and maybe makeup done, plus a gift certificate for coffee and cake or something like that at a cafe - what a nice afternoon out it would be! If you know that she has a close friend, maybe you could ask the close friend to go with her (close friend paying for herself, of course). The youth group could watch their kids while the ladies have fun.
This could be so cool, and give her a really wonderful boost on the 'big day' - something she'd never forget and probably would never do for herself.
loan
We'd like to spend about $25.00 - $30.00 max. DON'T WANT TO GIVE A GIFT CARD! Any idea about a nice gift we could get her? She's pretty stylish and hip. Would rather not go the route of "safe" gifts like flowers and such.
Gift for woman turning 40. She's a teacher, Mom and Church Youth Coordinator?
Check out http://www.uncommongoods.com -- they have some pretty unique gifts. I've bought from there before, and it's a nice site.
Reply:you can make a gift out of your own hands.it will show her how thoughtful you guys are to her!
or
you can give her some small jewllery set..macy's has great stuff
or
you can go to the personalized gift shop and get her something
or
you can get her a BLIND DATE.
iam serious. what if she really loved the guy...
love is the most beautiful gift..think!
Reply:You could get her a pretty gift basket of soaps and shower gels. Or you could offer her a night of babysitting so she can go pamper herself.
Reply:Take her to a night club or resturant or cafe or cinema or Mc donalds or Woolworths!!!!!!!!!
Reply:A mom's day out MASSAGE! Or a mani pedi...make it a relaxing day!
Reply:give her a BOOK to remember you always while reading it..
Reply:that idea of a massage is good, or even if you have a group of friends working on a gift for her, you could make up some "home-made" coupons, and maybe have them be like you and your friends will take turns baby-sitting her kids so she can have a night out with the girls.
If there are say six of you, one can stay home with her kids and the others can treat this busy mom who may need a night out, rotate until your group has all gotten time to spend with your friend.
It sounds like she is busy with the teaching and mom and w/ her church, how about paying a maid/cleaning service to helpe her out at her house a couple times a month, tha way she can not have to worry about everything if she is raising these boys on her own.
Sounds like she needs a Day Planner to organize all her activities ! If you go to the craft store and get some pretty colored paper and print them up, you can get these little "home-made" coupons laminated and put them in even one of those 4x6 small photo albums you can get at the dollar store.
How about a nice photo album with pictures of everyone, you, her, your friends, future and past pics', pics of her kids when they were younger and now, moms love pictures of their kids, and if you can get one together with her kids and your kids altogether it will be more of a personal gift than those "safe" gifts you were talking about.
Reply:Someone beat me to the best answer! Definitely some way she can 'spoil' herself and be stylish and hip at the same time - like a makeover or massage, manicure and pedicure (if your budget covers it).
If she's the divorced mother of two, then add something else to the gift: a few of you can take her kids to the park while she's out having her special time pampering herself. She probably would cherish a day out knowing her kids are well cared for by some of her 'other kids' (youth group).
If you find that your budget isn't enough for a 'pamper yourself' afternoon, you could see if some of the parents of the youth group kids will match your donations. I mean if each kid is kicking in a dollar, will their parents also give a dollar? Or if there are 20 kids in the group, and the gift is coming out of your entertainment fund for the group (the group kitty), you could still ask your parents to kick in a buck each to get her some quality time in a really nice place.
If she could get hair and nails and maybe makeup done, plus a gift certificate for coffee and cake or something like that at a cafe - what a nice afternoon out it would be! If you know that she has a close friend, maybe you could ask the close friend to go with her (close friend paying for herself, of course). The youth group could watch their kids while the ladies have fun.
This could be so cool, and give her a really wonderful boost on the 'big day' - something she'd never forget and probably would never do for herself.
loan
Do men, other than American men.....do nice things for their wives....?
I'm not trying to be funny or anything...but I'm from a big city and while in college and also at work I met alot of people from other parts of the world and it seems that the men don't do the things that American men do for their women , like buy them flowers or gifts for their birthday, or just because or take them out to dinner or movies, or do other special things for their wives....it seems like only the men are catered to...they basically work and come home and the women to cook for them, clean....while they basically do nothing. My husband is mom and dad's relationship is that way and from what I hear she's not happy. Don't get me wrong I feel that a woman should cater to her man...but he should do the same for her.
Do men, other than American men.....do nice things for their wives....?
because they probably joking or you talk to illegal immigrants
Reply:Im Australian and men here do that for their wives.
c++
Do men, other than American men.....do nice things for their wives....?
because they probably joking or you talk to illegal immigrants
Reply:Im Australian and men here do that for their wives.
c++
Does wife needing time and space always mean cheating?
My wife and I recently separated after 9 years. We have been separated for 2 months. She said she needed time and space after some major disagreements over our developmentally disabled daughter. It started with her saying it could go either way, but after two weeks she was saying never to counseling and was ready to file for legal separation. Admittedly, I did all the things you aren't supposed to do during the first month: beg and plead, send flowers and gifts, etc. She still hasn't filed for legal separation after two months. Everyone asks me if there is someone else. She has always been a high character person, but I do wonder now. Does needing time and space always mean there is someone else? I'd like to hear from women who were in a similar situation as my wife.
Does wife needing time and space always mean cheating?
i think she will love-it if you do gave her that space and time for her that is what she want that all
Reply:not necessarily sometimes she really just needs time alone to think and other time she probably is cheating only because she is confused and only you have the power to fix that good luck
Reply:no it means she needs the time to think things through. don't bug her. it doesn't mean she has another person. you say this is over major disagreements over your daughter, take a look at the disagreements that led to this. look at them as if you where not the one particpating and you may get your answer.
I am in the process of doing the same. I don't have a lover. I just need time to think about what I want and I think he does too. This too is over major disagreements. If he bugs me during the break more then to tell me what he's decided I will be back on the market.
Reply:Not always but most of the time. It is questionable given your specific circumstances, but I wouldn't rule it out.
Just file for divorce.
Reply:Well...you probably won't like what I'm going to say...so brace yourself.
No, I don't think that needing time and space = someone else in her life. But something in your writing makes me suspect that you might be man who is what might be described as..."needy".
I suspect (I don't have a child with a developmental disablity, but I do have one with psychiatric issues) that your wife feels that in whatever way you aren't her partner in this. Meaning she feels that she can't count on you to handle half of the load. What the major disagreements are are usually that one of you is a "realist" and one is more "compassionate" if those are the right words...and the realist usually gets ticked at the person who wants to take the more gentle or understanding approach. This isn't uncommon in marriages with "normal" kids (so to speak either)...for two parents to have different "parenting styles"...that causes a lot of conflict.
And...marriages with special needs kids...usually has no time for the marriage. There is no WE time...even if someone gives you guys a break...chances are you talk about your daughter...or worry about her care when you're not with her.
So...what ends up happening is that a spouse becomes another burden...another responsibility...someone else who's needs you have to worry about. I know this sounds incredibly selfish...but when a child consumes a lot of your time...for whatever reason...marriages are usually what suffers....because both of you are adults and it makes sense that the child should come first...that that is the right thing to do.
Many marriages don't survive long term problems with children. Because people just get tired....and they start accusing each other of not doing their part...or they just don't have time to be lovers or anything else but alternating caretakers (in one form or another).
My suggestion is to give her the time and space...because she probably needs to breathe. If she's enjoying the breathing space...then she's been overwhelmed...because she's free of the arguing between the two of you (so it's more peaceful) and she's free of meeting your needs (so she doesn't feel guilty or angry).
This is a really touchy issue because I am sure that both of you have gone without in many ways to care for your daughter whom you both love...and it can be an accusation session if you aren't careful. If you are really serious about wanting your wife back then you need to ask yourself or her....what you can do to support her rather than add more pressure.
Whatever your major disagreements are, if they are major that indicates to me that you both are pretty adamant in your stances and you are opposite in your beliefs of what is right for your daughter.
Flowers, begging and pleading aren't going to change her stance on your daughter and chances are if she's not agreeing to counseling...she suspects that you are so adamant in your beliefs that counseling isn't going to change your stance either even if you go.
So it's a no win circle you two are trapped in. And that translates into a growing feeling of hopelessness. A partner feels that no matter HOW they try to express their views it's never heard or acknowledged. I don't exactly know what you mean by a high character person, but I would venture that if that is so....that she doesn't take her marriage vows or being a Mom lightly. This is one of those for better or worse times. Only you can determine if you both can become ONE....which isn't about standing firm and being RIGHT it's about finding a way to blend the two of you in a way that works best for your daughter. Neither of you are always wrong...but neither are you always right.
It could very well be that the two of you are just two stubborn people. My husband and I are both only children. If you know anything about birth order...trust me...we're both pretty bossy and adamant. But...somewhere in our marriage...even disagreeing on many things with our kids...we managed to make a decision to stay and work it out. We both back down on certain issues...and we both have made our compromises. And the children have survived. I've learned that he was right in some things...and he's learned that I was right in some things. And respect grows from there...if you let it.
I hope that you will find your way. I am sure that this is a tough time for all of you...including your daughter.
Peace,
Nancy
Reply:My husband and I are separated now and it was the best thing that ever happened. We are not dating other people I just need time to think everything over.
Reply:No it doesn't, I left my guy while am pregnant with his baby because of stuff happening in our relationship as well.
I went to him after a month of almost no contact to speak with him %26amp; we got back together.
I needed time to sort my head.
Please check my question as I need sorting out again:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:if you don't trust her it's time to go or hire a PI. Also never suck up to a woman you'll aways come up short
Reply:No, but if that is what is up she should be woman enough to say she wants to walk on new grass for a while.....
Reply:No it does not maybe she just needs time to clear her head and think. Pray to God to save your marriage :)
Reply:Sometimes or maybe she just needs space, like she said.
Reply:It is not always someone else maybe she is just not interested in you anymore. If there was someone else then she would have filed already. Get over it and move forward you are wasting time maybe your soul mate is waiting for you and you are pining over someone who already is gone. Good Luck
Reply:I personally often need time alone. I like to take myself away from the situation, and have time to clear my head and think. Sometimes you cant see the forest for the trees, and just need to "gather yourself" so to speak. During those times, I have never once cheated or had the desire, and I come back refreshed and a more positive person.....thats just me though.
I think alot of women are like this. Not to mention your daughter, that could easily cause major stress
Reply:It seems to me that you may be missing the boat, the disagreements over your developmentally disabled daughter....you guys do need counseling, even if only for the sake of your daughter....
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Does wife needing time and space always mean cheating?
i think she will love-it if you do gave her that space and time for her that is what she want that all
Reply:not necessarily sometimes she really just needs time alone to think and other time she probably is cheating only because she is confused and only you have the power to fix that good luck
Reply:no it means she needs the time to think things through. don't bug her. it doesn't mean she has another person. you say this is over major disagreements over your daughter, take a look at the disagreements that led to this. look at them as if you where not the one particpating and you may get your answer.
I am in the process of doing the same. I don't have a lover. I just need time to think about what I want and I think he does too. This too is over major disagreements. If he bugs me during the break more then to tell me what he's decided I will be back on the market.
Reply:Not always but most of the time. It is questionable given your specific circumstances, but I wouldn't rule it out.
Just file for divorce.
Reply:Well...you probably won't like what I'm going to say...so brace yourself.
No, I don't think that needing time and space = someone else in her life. But something in your writing makes me suspect that you might be man who is what might be described as..."needy".
I suspect (I don't have a child with a developmental disablity, but I do have one with psychiatric issues) that your wife feels that in whatever way you aren't her partner in this. Meaning she feels that she can't count on you to handle half of the load. What the major disagreements are are usually that one of you is a "realist" and one is more "compassionate" if those are the right words...and the realist usually gets ticked at the person who wants to take the more gentle or understanding approach. This isn't uncommon in marriages with "normal" kids (so to speak either)...for two parents to have different "parenting styles"...that causes a lot of conflict.
And...marriages with special needs kids...usually has no time for the marriage. There is no WE time...even if someone gives you guys a break...chances are you talk about your daughter...or worry about her care when you're not with her.
So...what ends up happening is that a spouse becomes another burden...another responsibility...someone else who's needs you have to worry about. I know this sounds incredibly selfish...but when a child consumes a lot of your time...for whatever reason...marriages are usually what suffers....because both of you are adults and it makes sense that the child should come first...that that is the right thing to do.
Many marriages don't survive long term problems with children. Because people just get tired....and they start accusing each other of not doing their part...or they just don't have time to be lovers or anything else but alternating caretakers (in one form or another).
My suggestion is to give her the time and space...because she probably needs to breathe. If she's enjoying the breathing space...then she's been overwhelmed...because she's free of the arguing between the two of you (so it's more peaceful) and she's free of meeting your needs (so she doesn't feel guilty or angry).
This is a really touchy issue because I am sure that both of you have gone without in many ways to care for your daughter whom you both love...and it can be an accusation session if you aren't careful. If you are really serious about wanting your wife back then you need to ask yourself or her....what you can do to support her rather than add more pressure.
Whatever your major disagreements are, if they are major that indicates to me that you both are pretty adamant in your stances and you are opposite in your beliefs of what is right for your daughter.
Flowers, begging and pleading aren't going to change her stance on your daughter and chances are if she's not agreeing to counseling...she suspects that you are so adamant in your beliefs that counseling isn't going to change your stance either even if you go.
So it's a no win circle you two are trapped in. And that translates into a growing feeling of hopelessness. A partner feels that no matter HOW they try to express their views it's never heard or acknowledged. I don't exactly know what you mean by a high character person, but I would venture that if that is so....that she doesn't take her marriage vows or being a Mom lightly. This is one of those for better or worse times. Only you can determine if you both can become ONE....which isn't about standing firm and being RIGHT it's about finding a way to blend the two of you in a way that works best for your daughter. Neither of you are always wrong...but neither are you always right.
It could very well be that the two of you are just two stubborn people. My husband and I are both only children. If you know anything about birth order...trust me...we're both pretty bossy and adamant. But...somewhere in our marriage...even disagreeing on many things with our kids...we managed to make a decision to stay and work it out. We both back down on certain issues...and we both have made our compromises. And the children have survived. I've learned that he was right in some things...and he's learned that I was right in some things. And respect grows from there...if you let it.
I hope that you will find your way. I am sure that this is a tough time for all of you...including your daughter.
Peace,
Nancy
Reply:My husband and I are separated now and it was the best thing that ever happened. We are not dating other people I just need time to think everything over.
Reply:No it doesn't, I left my guy while am pregnant with his baby because of stuff happening in our relationship as well.
I went to him after a month of almost no contact to speak with him %26amp; we got back together.
I needed time to sort my head.
Please check my question as I need sorting out again:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:if you don't trust her it's time to go or hire a PI. Also never suck up to a woman you'll aways come up short
Reply:No, but if that is what is up she should be woman enough to say she wants to walk on new grass for a while.....
Reply:No it does not maybe she just needs time to clear her head and think. Pray to God to save your marriage :)
Reply:Sometimes or maybe she just needs space, like she said.
Reply:It is not always someone else maybe she is just not interested in you anymore. If there was someone else then she would have filed already. Get over it and move forward you are wasting time maybe your soul mate is waiting for you and you are pining over someone who already is gone. Good Luck
Reply:I personally often need time alone. I like to take myself away from the situation, and have time to clear my head and think. Sometimes you cant see the forest for the trees, and just need to "gather yourself" so to speak. During those times, I have never once cheated or had the desire, and I come back refreshed and a more positive person.....thats just me though.
I think alot of women are like this. Not to mention your daughter, that could easily cause major stress
Reply:It seems to me that you may be missing the boat, the disagreements over your developmentally disabled daughter....you guys do need counseling, even if only for the sake of your daughter....
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